Good Night, David; Good Bye, Era

So much has been written in the aftermath of David Brinkley’s death that it borders on the presumptuous to add anything. But I’ll presume that my lone encounter with the iconic Brinkley qualifies.

He was speaking at Eckerd College in the mid-1980s. I was a staff writer for Tampa Bay Business Journal and had arranged for some pre-lecture interview time with Brinkley. His itinerary was cramped and his availability limited, so I shared the time slot with the Tampa Tribune’s television columnist, Walt Belcher. John Wilson was setting up nearby to do a video version.

Several things made a lasting first-time impression:

*Brinkley was taller than I thought. Talking heads have no legs, so who is to know? He was 6′-2″.

*He was, however, every bit as candid, self-effacing and wry-witted as I had expected. Television hadn’t distorted anything on that front.

*He was also professional, polite and patient. He was, after all, indulging those who were less adept at interviewing than he was.

*And, of course, there were those inimitably cadenced speech patterns. I kept thinking to myself: “This guy does a great David Brinkley.”

Most of the substantive details of the session and subsequent speech now elude me. But I do recall these:

*He called himself a “skeptic” — not a “cynic.” But he conceded he was challenged by politicians to maintain that distinction. He said the essence of the politician was “the pursuit of power.” That, in turn, led to a need to “dominate and control.” And that’s the kind of people who were coursing through the corridors of Congress.

*He said the “Kennedys never picked up a check” and buttressed it with a story I now forget.

*He said celebrity status and accompanying fame weren’t any big deal. He acknowledged that it was “temporary and somewhat superficial” and didn’t get caught up in it. He said he always kept his success in perspective; to wit: “It was TV that worked — not me.”

*He chuckled all the way through the retelling of a tale from the “Huntley-Brinkley Report” days. A woman stopped him in an airport and said: “Aren’t you Chet Huntley?” He said he didn’t want her to be embarrassed by her misidentification, and since Huntley-Brinkley was a team entity, what was the harm? So he said he was, indeed, Chet Huntley.

She then replied: “Well, I think you’re very good. But I can’t stand that idiot, Brinkley.”

It was vintage Brinkley.

We’ll not be seeing his kind again.

At Least Clinton Has To Show Up

I suppose we’re to be taken aback by, if not disapprove of, former President Bill Clinton’s $9.5 million haul last year on the international rubber-chicken circuit. He was paid as much as $400,000 a pop on his global speaking tour. Not included: travel and lodging reimbursements.

But whatever you think, if anything, of Clinton, put it into perspective. He’s a former president; he knows stuff; he has a unique perspective; and he’s hardly immune to marketplace forces. It’s part of the free enterprise, capitalist system we say we venerate.

If you want to quibble, however, then have at Greg Vaughn. Vaughn will make $9.5 million this year NOT to play for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. That’s the obscene upshot of releasing a Major League Baseball player with a guaranteed contract.

At least Clinton has to show up.

Sen. Graham: Mantra Material In “BobCat” Pitch

In his e-mail solicitations, Sen. Bob Graham asks voters to help offset all the “fat-cat” contributors supporting President George W. Bush by signing on as a “BobCat.” In the pitch, Graham rolls out some language we will — or surely should — be seeing again — and again — from the Florida Democrat.

Graham skewers the president over what he characterizes as Bush’s “Agenda for Two Americas.” That is: “Tax cuts for those who have and spending cuts for those who have not.”

If Graham is looking for mantra material, that’s it.

If he says it enough, it might deter folks from focusing on the fact that he co-wrote the controversial USA Patriot Act. Such co-authorship compromises his criticism of the president’s antiterrorism strategy.

Sen. Graham has a national security comfort zone and unique expertise, but his Patriot Act involvement undermines that approach. Presidentially speaking, it’s still the economy.

And when you’re such a long shot, why not play the class-warfare card? It helped get Al Gore more votes than George W. Bush.

Timely Promotional Help For Hillary

Kudos to Time magazine for its timely cover story on Sen. Hillary Clinton’s book, “Living History.” Were it not for Time, a Hillary-hungry public would be caught in a Rodham-Clinton vacuum with nowhere to turn but Larry King, Barbara Walters, a bunch of press conferences or the book itself.

Time couldn’t be satisfied merely reporting on this bit of highly-teased, high profile, politico-celebrity news. No, it turned itself into a revisionist co-conspirator and honorary chair of the “Hillary in ’08” presidential campaign. Time, The Book Excerpt issue gives checkbook journalism a bad name

Byrd Preaches To The Subverted

Give Johnnie Byrd, the speaker of the Florida House, some credit — something not often ladled out his way these days. As the point man for the Dada convention that passes for a state legislature, he gets his share of blame.

By accepting a recent invitation to address the left-leaning Tiger Bay Club of Tampa, he might have expected a metaphorical lynching rather than a luncheon. It was not a Kumbaya crowd, except for Republican gadfly-activist Ralph Hughes. More like preaching to the subverted.

So, credit the Byrd Man of Plant City, platitudes and evasive answers notwithstanding, for showing up to show the flag of smaller government to the infidels.

So much for credit.

Byrd’s world is a nuance-free duality. It is partitioned between optimists and pessimists. Norman Vincent Peale vs. Chicken Little. The optimists, including the Speaker himself, believe Florida’s economy is essentially healthy; the pessimists believe “Armageddon will happen.”

“There’s a war going on in Tallahassee,” explained Byrd. The optimists, he said, are proud that the government is “living within its means” and are philosophically committed to “growing our way out” of a recession. The pessimists believe “the sky is falling” and don’t understand that you can’t “tax your way out of a recession.”

Presumably, pessimists also see an antiquated sales tax system being incapable of accommodating an influx of some 300,000 new residents a year when the economy is not going gangbusters.

Presumably, they see trust funds being raided and fees and tuition being increased — even as the more blatant, special-interest, service-sector sales tax exemptions remain in a lock box.

Presumably, they can foresee some local governments forced to raise property taxes, while being told such scenarios are “urban myths.”

Presumably, they’ve noticed the outrage of Sen. Tom Lee of Brandon, the next Senate president, who characterized the $53-billion budget as one “put together with band aids and paper clips and ignores the realities of long term problems.”

Presumably, that’s why they’re pessimists.

Recruiting Religiously in Ybor

They’re not panhandlers — but to some passersby they are no less annoying. They are the well-dressed and tressed Scientology recruiters who have been working Seventh Avenue. They are part of a higher profile, beefed-up presence that has been heralding The Scientology Life Improvement Center. The Center recently opened on Eighth Avenue across from Gameworks.

The issue is legally murky. Tampa already has an ordinance that prohibits people from repeatedly asking for money. The Scientologists aren’t doing that. They’re offering free personality tests — but often confuse “no” for “tell me more as I continue walking briskly.” As a “religious” organization it has protection, although not absolute.

It’s enough to get the city rummaging through its codes to see if anything currently on the books addresses “pain-in-the-ass geeks bothering people.”

In the meantime, this unsolicited, ad hoc advice:

For Scientologists:

*Equip your recruiters with two-for-one drink coupons redeemable at any neighboring bar.

*Defuse the complaints with rotating celebrity recruiters — starting with Tom Cruise.

For the city of Tampa:

*Ask Warren Sapp to sign up for a personality test.

Veil Tale From Comedy Central?

What’s wrong with this picture?

A Winter Park resident is still suing for the right to pose with an identification-shrouding veil for her Florida driver’s license I.D. photo. Islamic convert Sultaana Freeman, the former Sandra Keller, says it is a matter of religious conviction. The American Civil Liberties Union agrees.

No one else should.

This is beyond nonsense. This is beyond Comedy Central.

Whether your name is Sultaana Freeman or Clayton Moore, your driver’s license I.D. photo must identify you. Is there really a need to explain anything?

Of Presidents And Interns

Thanks to Sen. Hillary Clinton’s “Living History,” and historian Robert Dallek’s “An Unfinished Life,” the strife and times of Bill Clinton and John F. Kennedy are with us again. Especially the salacious parts dealing with presidents and their paramour interns.

And that perennially pesky matter of public people and their private affairs.

Most of us would probably agree that what is done in private that doesn’t impact an official’s capacity to do the public’s work is nobody else’s business. The presidency, however, is different.

Anything that could compromise the person holding the most powerful position in the world is no mere private matter. Blackmail and national security concerns are the real issue — not morality or sleaziness. Whether the liaison is with an intern or a mob moll.

Too bad Clinton’s hero wasn’t Harry Truman instead of JFK.

Heroes — And Villains — To The Rescue

Thank you, Hannibal Lecter. Really.

And thank you, to be sure, Atticus Finch.

Amid the daily dispatches from Iraq and North Korea, the sobering updates on SARS and AIDS and bureaucratic business as usual in Washington, it was a welcome respite from real news to read the American Film Institute’s list of all time, favorite villains and heroes. The AFI dubbed the Anthony Hopkins-playing cannibal-psychiatrist from “Silence of the Lambs” as top villain and the Gregory Peck-playing defense attorney from “To Kill A Mockingbird” as foremost hero.

Lecter and Finch are solid choices, but where there are lists and judgments, there are differences of opinion, controversy and some flat-out weird juxtapositions. That’s, frankly, the fun of it.

For example, as derelict a mother as Joan Crawford was, does the portrayal of her in “Mommie Dearest” (#41) deserve to be on a par with “A Nightmare On Elm Street’s” Freddy Krueger (#40)? Is there any way career opportunist Eve Harrington of “All About Eve” (#23) is more villainous than the Martians from “War of the Worlds” (#27), Count Dracula in “Dracula” (#33), Frank Booth in “Blue Velvet (#36) or Auric Goldfinger in “Goldfinger” (#49)?

Heroically speaking, it’s worth pondering that Arthur Chipping of “Goodbye, Mr. Chips” (#41), Father Edward Flanagan of “Boys Town” (#42), Moses in “The Ten Commandments” (#43) and Karen Silkwood of “Silkwood” (#47) finished behind Lassie of “Lassie Come Home” (#39). Further grist for the musing mill is Rocky Balboa of “Rocky” (#7) topping the likes of Oskar Schindler of “Schindler’s List” (#13), Robin Hood in “The Adventures of Robin Hood” (#18) and Mahatma Gandhi of “Gandhi” (#21).

So thanks again, AFI, for the reel world’s respite from real news.

Embattled Sosa Should Come Clean

Beneath the clever “Say it ain’t So-sa” headlines are theories of what really happened. Call them skeptical, cynical and realistic.

Skeptics would say that it’s unlikely that the first time Sammy Sosa is caught with a corked bat is the first time he used one. And, yes, it does taint his iconic reputation as a prodigious home run hitter.

Cynics will note that the corked-bat incident deflects attention from more serious — and sinister — speculation. Namely, some of Sosa’s awesome power is produced by a diet of steroids and expansion-caliber pitching. Especially the former.

Realists see Sosa, now in his mid-30s, on the flip side of his legendary career. He’s not the hitter he once was. He recently returned to the Cubs’ lineup from the disabled list. His relative lack of production has continued — and has frustrated Sosa.

Faced with that reality and an almost obsessive desire to perform and please, Sosa resorted to using a corked bat for an edge. A corked bat is lighter and creates a bit more bat speed than the lumber he normally uses. Its value is negligible in the hands of a marginal player. In the hands of such a superb athlete and power hitter as Sosa, it can make a difference. Even if mostly psychological.

There’s your likely answer.

Sosa’s never been 34 before and hasn’t seen such puny production since the early days of his career. He made a mistake. But he didn’t pick up the “wrong” bat. At 505 homeruns — and seemingly no longer counting — he took the “wrong” approach.

That’s what he should apologize for. And that’s most fans would understand and forgive him for. Say it’s so, Sammy.