Scoopidity

So Tampa has extended its e-scooter pilot program another year to allow time for the coronavirus to pass and the world to return to normal. Keep in mind that this is a program whose “normal” was pre-pandemic problematic–from its business-model littering to its fraught presence in a mass transit-challenged urban market notoriously dangerous for pedestrians and bicyclists.

And now, even on a reduced basis, it will linger on through COVID with the possibility, if not likelihood, that scooters–delusive promises of conscientious wipe downs notwithstanding–will become de facto contamination conduits around town. Why risk a mobile sanitation nightmare–or is urban hip still worth it?

Sports Shorts

* The better a team plays, the better its uniforms look.

* You could also call him Tom BRANDy. The Bucs iconic new QB’s trademarks now include: “Tomba Bay” and “Tampa Brady.” You’ll be seeing it on T-shirts, hats and footwear. Ironically, for the last decade Tom Brady has trademarked “TB 12” into a lifestyle brand that includes workout equipment, nutritional supplements and apparel.

* It’s still impossible to forget that Tom Brady is a friend of Trump. He was even asked by Trump to speak at the 2016 Republican National Convention. Could make for a quick honeymoon.

* No surprise: According to Forbes, the three top-valued MLB franchises are the New York Yankees, $5 billion; the Los Angeles Dodgers, $3.4 billion; and the Boston Red Sox, $3.3 billion. The bottom (28-30) three: the Tampa Bay Rays, $1.05 billion; the Kansas City Royals, $1.025 billion; and the Miami Marlins, $980 million.

* “With all due respect.” “Apologies to those who were offended.” What they have in common is that they are formal, prepared-statement clichés disingenuously intended to convey a self-serving sense of sincerity before pivoting to a parsed-language diversion. Most recent Exhibit A: New Mississippi State football coach Mike Leach’s “apology” for passing along a meme with a noose joke. What Leach, outspoken about his right-wing politics and a Trump supporter, should have said: “That was awful judgment on my part–noose humor, especially in Mississippi! I apologize for being so unconscionably, stupidly insensitive. The onus is on me for offending. Period. And, yeah, I’m going to self-quarantine my Twitter account.”

Quoteworthy

* “Early on, the Saudis identified the Trump Administration’s approach to foreign policy as transactional, run by deal makers looking out for the bottom line, not by diplomats focused on long-term  interests or even, at times, values. Trump’s game was one the Saudis knew how to play.”–Ben Hubbard, author of “The Rise to Power of Mohammed bin Salman.”

* “The W.H.O. really blew it. … They could have called it months earlier.”–President Donald Trump in calling out the World Health Organization for being “very Chinese centric” and indicating that he would be considering cutting funding to the WHO.

* “The press HATED that, three months ago, we had the lowest African-American & Hispanic unemployment ever recorded. Now that we’re in the midst of a global pandemic–which originated in Wuhan, not the Oval Office–too many in the press are giddy with glee.”–Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas.

* “The news media are not the enemy–despite our president’s unrelenting attempts to paint them as such. They are the last line of defense in protecting our democracy from turning into an authoritarian state.”–Former Florida Republican state legislator Paula Dockery, who’s now registered NPA.

* “Facts are empowering. Even when the facts are discouraging, not knowing the facts is worse. I promise that I will continue to give New Yorkers all the facts, not selective facts.”–New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo.

* “What do I know? I’m not a doctor. But I have common sense.”–Donald Trump.

* “We have a thing called a Constitution, which I cherish.”–Donald Trump.

* “(Trump) can’t escape his instincts, his desire to put people down … or to talk about his ratings. That’s why he’s not getting the George W. Bush post-9/11 treatment.”–Former Florida Republican Rep. Carlos Curbelo.

* “Polls now even show Biden with a slight edge in Florida. … If Trump is losing in Florida, he’s not about to be beaten, he’s about to be crushed.”–Eugene Robinson, Washington Post.

* “No Senate Republicans voted against the $2.2 trillion Phase 3 rescue bill, an unprecedented expansion of government’s cost and reach. As it turns out, there are few libertarians in economic foxholes.”–William A. Galston, Wall Street Journal.

* “The communications coming out of (Gov. Ron DeSantis’) office have been very strange. And it’s hard to get answers from his staff.”–St. Petersburg Mayor Rick Kriseman.

* “Measured, targeted and focused–timely and transparent.”–How Ron DeSantis spokeswoman Helen Aguirre Ferre characterized the governor’s coronavirus response.

* “We should expect that the recession will last at least until we have a vaccine.”–Stetson University economist Alan Green.

* “Officers are very empathetic with what is going on in America right now. There’s not a lot of desire to hit someone with a $200 fine.”–Clearwater Police Chief Dan Slaughter. Traffic citations across the state dropped 92 per cent last month compared with March 2019.

* “When I get to heaven, I’m gonna shake God’s hand. Thank Him for more blessings than one man can stand. Then I’m gonna get a guitar and start a rock ‘n’ roll band.”–The late singer-songwriter John Prine.

* “In my opinion, the answer to Bayshore is to break it up.”–Mayor Jane Castor, in recommending more traffic lights for Bayshore Boulevard.

* “It is critical that, in times of need, our community members with the means to do so find ways to give back and support our first responders who are the front lines of this battle.”–Eddie DeBartolo Jr. He and his wife Candy recently donated $2.65 million to Tampa General Hospital. It’s part of a $7.65 million donation the DeBartolos have made to TGH over a five-month period.

* “We have faced devastating hurricanes and recessions in the past, but nothing like this in our 45-year history.”–Tim Marks, CEO and president of Metropolitan Ministries.

* “Let’s continue to balance our lives and support one another. Quality over quantity. Patience before programs. Love before lessons.”–Pinellas County school Superintendent Mike Grego.

* “I do believe we have now come to the point where we have reached a dire situation where we have to use this interest.”–Michele Van Loan, Tampa’s community development agency director, in announcing that small businesses in distressed areas will be eligible for grants–paid out of the accumulated interest in Tampa’s redevelopment area coffers.

COVIDiocy Updates

“A Republic, if you can keep it.”

* According to Mitch McConnell, impeachment hurt the coronavirus response, because it was an untimely distraction. What a revisionist, perverted perspective. Had the Republican Senate agreed to a trial with witnesses–what a concept–the impeachment process would have started and ended a helluva lot sooner. But even more to the point, if we didn’t have a manifestly impeachable president, this would all be moot.

* American foreign policy: Why not call off sanctions–however odious and adversarial the impacted governments–because citizens not responsible for the geopolitical animus will die.

* There’s no doubting that Trump can multi-task. Latest example: The high-profile, pathological mismanaging of a national emergency while acting vengefully to fire Michael Atkinson, the inspector general of the intelligence community, for disloyalty. Atkinson’s charge was to be an independent watchdog. Alas, that meant that he would inform Congress about the disturbing whistleblower complaint of Trump pressuring Ukraine for Biden dirt. Not exactly a misplaced loyalty for a country-first, independent watchdog with a reputation for integrity.

* Now Jared Kushner is on the COVID case. Creating that flawless Middle East peace plan will be a tough act to follow. But if this must be a family affair, at least it’s not Eric Trump.

* Not that we need reminding, but Trump is on his fifth secretary of homeland security, his fourth national security adviser, his fourth chief of staff and his fourth press secretary. Not that we needed reminding–because it’s obvious.

* “Did you know I was number one on Facebook? I just found out I was number one on Facebook. I thought that was very nice for whatever it means.” Whatever, indeed. You never know what a presidential press briefing will pivot to.

COVID Bits

#Alone Together

* Timing, once again, is everything. More than 20,000 Americans remain overseas, still trying to return to the U.S. from vacations, work assignments and mission trips. International air travel is at a near standstill.

* So, after all that life-impacting vacillation, Gov. Ron DeSantis finally acted in the best interest of Floridians–not just lobbyists and the Florida Chamber of Commerce–by issuing a long overdue, public-safety, stay-home order. Better late than never, but not better than doing the right thing at the right time. There have been inevitable, unnecessary deaths. All activity will be limited to essential services for at least 30 days. And, yes, gun and ammo stores, are considered essential.  

But then later in the same day that he had issued the stay-home directive, DeSantis issued an amended order to override all local emergency orders. It confused and incensed any number of mayors and sheriffs.

So after a political honeymoon–prompted in no small part by the reality that anyone looks good after Rick Scott–DeSantis is looking increasingly like the guy who grew up in the Fox green room. At the worst possible time, we have had worrisome response delay, disconnects and now mixed, confusing messages. DeSantis should go on line and search for an Executive Order 101 class.

This is worse than “hanging chads” Flori-duh. This is the Sunshine State version of the Trump Administration clown car. Jeb! is looking better by the day.

* Dumb doubling down: How unconscionably outrageous that the usual suspects–aka COVIDiots–have targeted Dr. Anthony Fauci, the top government SCIENTIST in the all-consuming fight against COVID-19, for his lack of fealty to Trump. As if he’s undermining the Dissembler-in-chief with objective, scientific perspective.

* Speaking of COVIDiocy, how else to reference frolicking spring breakers and reckless religious congregants.  

* Speaking of religious services during a pandemic, what would Jesus say? Possibly “This is as alarming as it is embarrassing. I’m fed up with being represented by fakirs and fools. I don’t have a problem with megachurches, but I do have a problem with MAGAchurches. Remember ‘Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s’? It’s hardly a religious reach to say that saving lives via public safety damn (oops), darn well applies. Separation of church and state? Good Lord, how about separation of life and needless death? Remember, ‘In GOD we trust,’ not ‘In GOP, we trust.'”

* Jeff Bezos, richest man in the world, where the hell are you?

* Which businesses are essential? Pharmacies, check. Grocery stores, check. Gun shops, say what?

* The state has not mandated the closing of parks. Hillsborough County and Tampa have closed theirs, while Pinellas and St. Petersburg have left theirs open–for now. The rationale for the latter: They are a better option than crowding along the waterfront. But St. Pete Mayor Rick Kriseman could change that if residents don’t adjust their park behavior. The new park normal means no picnics, no touch football, no playground equipment use. Parks are escapes–not attractions. Not an easy, however necessary, sell.

* So much for the aesthetic respite of Bayshore Boulevard. The scary COVID new normal still allows for more tragic and unconscionable idiocy. Over the weekend, a motorcyclist and a bicyclist both died in an eminently avoidable accident. The motorcyclist who hit the bicyclist was one of three bikers riding together. One was being ridden on its back wheels. Yes, they are still among us.

* “We are continuing to see things go up. We cannot be discouraged by that because the mitigation is actually working and will work.”–That was Dr. Anthony Fauci, the government’s top infectious disease expert, rendering an expert opinion that has everything to do with context and meaningful reassurance–instead of self-serving misinformation and disingenuousness.

* “It’s not just the movie “Contagion” that’s making a streaming comeback. Amazon is having trouble keeping Albert Camus’ “The Plague” in stock. Obviously pestilence fiction still has a market–even when it’s no longer fiction.

* Jewish irony: Passover canceled because of a plague.

Media Matters

* “These next several weeks will teach us a lot. In some ways, we are field-testing the future.” That was Paul Tash, chairman and CEO of the Tampa Bay Times, responding to the question of whether the Times’ newly enacted policy of twice-a-week print deliveries complemented by daily digital versions is the publication pattern of the future for daily newspapers.

* “Parade” magazine’s annual “What People Earn” issue prompts an annual response. Yes, we are a market-demand economy, so there are gigantic disparities. But societal priorities are also reflected. Soberly, even obscenely, so. To wit: Dr. Robert Redfield, M.D., the virologist/director for the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC), pulls down $209,700 annually, whereas talk-show hosts Howard Stern and Rush Limbaugh earn $93 million and $87 million, respectively. Is that part of American exceptionalism?

* The six-part Netflix series “The English Game” is worth watching–and bingeing. Kind of a soccer-history primer that arguably features Britain’s first professional player–the Scot, Fergus Suter. The game had been looking very much like rugby scrums until the Scots invented passing. The subplots, including the class divide, are reminiscent of Downton Abbey. Well done.

Sports Shorts

* Nice St. Pete touch for the roof of Tropicana Field to be lit in red, white and blue every night as a show of solidarity to honor health care workers.

* Suspended season notwithstanding, the NHL Players Association has gone ahead with its annual poll of best players. The Lightning’s Victor Hedman was selected the top defenseman for the second consecutive year. Goalie Andrei Valilevskiy was runner-up to Montreal’s Carey Price.

Quoteworthy

* “There was always an argument that the existing world order cannot change because only a momentous war has done that in the past, and world wars have become impossible. But in pandemics–and soon in climate change–we may have found two functional equivalents of war.”–Bruno Macaes, the National Review.

* “As we can all feel, the world at this moment seems extraordinarily fragile.”–The final post by Prince Harry and wife Meghan on their SussexRoyal Instagram account.

* “Rather than heed the warnings, embrace the planning and preserve the structures and budgets that had been bequeathed to him, the president ignored the risk of a pandemic.”–Susan Rice, national security adviser to Barack Obama.

* “In an election year, it has been impossible to witness the mixture of incompetence, egotism and eerie inhumanity with which President Trump has responded to the Covid-19 pandemic and not fear a corona-coup. Panic and disorientation are precisely the elements on which the dictator feasts. The danger of an American autocratic lurch in 2020 is as great as the virus itself.”–Roger Cohen, New York Times.

* “We basically wasted two months (of coronavirus prep).”–Kathleen Sebelius, former secretary of Health and Human Services.

* “This is going to be our Pearl Harbor moment.”–U.S. Surgeon General Jerome Adams.

* “Donald Trump is trying to build a campaign message around his image as a wartime president. But as a commander in chief, Cadet Bone Spurs is bringing up the rear.”–Maureen Dowd, New York Times.

* “Trump, the consummate bully, could use those powers for good, by countermanding Mitch McConnell and establishment Republicans and working with Nancy Pelosi to pass a badly-needed revamp of America’s infrastructure.”–Curt Mills, the American Conservative.

* “There’s a lot of things in this pandemic that have not gone the way they should, but the science has been blazing fast.”–Dr. Gigi Kwik Gronvall, senior scholar at Johns Hopkins Center for Health Security.

* “Early on, epidemiologists simply didn’t know how well social distancing would work. Now it’s clearer: We have the tools to save lives, if we will use them.”–Nicholas Kristof, New York Times.

* “We really do appreciate the work of the citizens of California and Washington, because we do see that their curve is different from New York, New Jersey and Connecticut–and we really believe that the work that every citizen is doing in those states is making a difference.”–Dr. Deborah Birx, the U.S. coronavirus response coordinator, in praise of California and Washington for their social distancing efforts.

* “A lot of advertisers are just pulling back–the tide’s going out.”–Boston University marketing professor Garrett Johnson.

* “If one looks carefully, suffering is not the exception but the rule.”–University of  Massachusetts philosophy professor John Kaag, author of “Sick Souls, Healthy Minds.”

* “The Electoral College is worse than merely useless. Its primary function is to malapportion political power, and it does so–indeed, has always done so–with strikingly awful consequences. … In a liberal democracy, not everything need be decided by majority vote. But once something is put to a vote, it is hard to understand why the side getting fewer votes should win.”–Cornell law professor Josh Chafetz, the author of “Congress’ Constitution: Legislative Authority and the Separation of Powers.”

* “There’s no magic age for becoming a regular voter. But when people move into their 40s, that’s when you see voter turnout grow.”–Carroll Doherty, director of political research at the Pew Research Center.

* “Making sure that we’re ready to care for this community is not each individual healthcare system’s job, it is all of our jobs. … These large healthcare systems that are providing care are truly banding together to give the best care.”–Richelle Hoenes, director of corporate communications for AdventHealth West Florida Division.

* “The responsible and sensible thing to do is to avoid all congregational activities that involve people proximate to each other. You can spray things down, you can decontaminate to a point, but you’re still taking a risk.”–Jay Wolfson, associate vice president for health law, policy and safety at USF.

* “We’re looking at all of our major revenues in terms of potential reductions. We’re taking a holistic look at both revenues and expenditures.”–Tampa’s Chief Financial Officer Dennis Rogero in assessing the impact of the coronavirus on the city’s $1.04 billion budget, where “nothing is off the table.”

* “It’s a difficult balance. You’re balancing the public welfare with the economy. Both are very important, but I was elected as mayor, first and foremost, to look out for the health and well-being of all of my citizens.”–Mayor Jane Castor in a CNN interview with Anderson Cooper.

Trying Times With Trump

 “A Republic, if you can keep it.”

* The job of the newly created  Special Inspector General for Pandemic Recovery is to monitor how the Treasury Department extends loans and loan guarantees. Moreover, the new inspector general has a mandate to notify Congress immediately if the White  House doesn’t cooperate with an audit or an investigation involving $2 trillion in stimulus money. What could go wrong with this scenario?

Unsurprisingly, the oversight position isn’t going over well with the Divider in chief. “I’ll be the oversight,” declared Trump.

The new IG is supposed to be nominated by the White House and confirmed by the Senate. Presumably Stephen Miller, Corey Lewandowski, Sean Hannity, Pam Bondi, Ted Nugent and Roger Stone are still in the running.

* Donald Trump recently–and intemperately–called for “packed churches … all over our country … on Easter.” The call for de facto religious/political rallies had epidemiologists alarmed and Trump evangelicals elated. (Even the Pope called upon Christians to celebrate Holy Week and Easter by not gathering for worship services.) America’s misleader has since walked it back as the outbreak has spread and social-distancing is a common sense and public health given. Too bad we couldn’t give up Trump for Lent.

* “Because the ‘Ratings’ of my (daily) News Conferences etc. are so high, ‘Bachelor finale, Monday Night Football’ type numbers according to the @nytimes, the Lamestream Media is going CRAZY.” Whatever. It’s what you get during an existential crisis with a narcissistic “Celebrity Apprentice” host as president. So, thanks again, basket of deplorables, feckless GOPsters, skewed-priority greed heads and disaffected progressives who sat out the 2016 election. No one saw COVID-19 coming, but we all should have foreseen a mega mess as the collateral damage from having an unprepared, unethical  rogue charlatan in the White Nationalist House.