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Word has it that in an effort to further impress the world’s wealthiest man, President Trump decided to include himself among those following DOGE directions to list what they did last week. He even added some. Here’s Trump’s recent attempt to show some populist empathy while joining the DOGE & pony show.

1—Bullied Zelenskyy and berated Trudeau; we’ve helped those losers enough.

2—Checked in with my Moscow mentor; golden-showers never came up.

3—Binge-watched “Naked and Afraid” and re-runs of “The Apprentice.”

4—Issued an executive order declaring Jan. 6 Patriots’ Day.

5—Aced another cognition test. I like true-false.

6—Trump bibles, steaks, coins not enough. Signed off on a new deal: Trump Depends.

7—Relaxed in my Agent Orange tanning bed and farted away.

8—Worked on my handwriting. It has the right celebrity arrogance, but looks too much like my EKG.

9—Reread some passages from “Art of the Deal.” A reminder that it helps to have a real writer write your book.

10–Called Melania. Left message.

* There was no government shutdown, but nobody is happy. It’s a low bar for any serious, democratic high-fives.

For now, Senate Democratic Leader Chuck Schumer is not a strategic scapegoat. Just awkwardly unpopular and symbolic of the trade-off of short-changing Democratic priorities such as health care and housing help. It also assures Trump of MAGA-pleasing, despotic discretion on spending decisions. This isn’t political compromise; it’s heavy-handed, autocratic leverage.

* A strategic UK sign: “Buying a Tesla Helps Trump Hurt the Planet. Choose Another EV.”

* “Divide and conquer worked for Caesar; it will work for the Democrats.”James Unnever, retired USF professor of criminology.

* Thanks, Lincoln Project. It’s helping being heard.

 

* Still a favorite song title: “All My Ex’s Live In Texas.”

* I recently watched the Ken Burns’ documentary on country music. It was, no surprise, informative, superbly edited and empathetic about values and roots, romantic love and heartbreak. I also found out that a lot of popular songs were written on the fly, often on the backs of envelopes. That thought was with me when I recently went to the Florida Eye Institute for a laser procedure. I had some envelopes and spare time while waiting. Here’s what resulted.

“The eyes, as we’ve seen, always open our world. But sometimes we see too much.

“When that world becomes a deep MAGA mine, you just might wish you were blind.”

And why stop there?

“I never have been to a book burnin,’ but if I change my mind,

“I’ll be sure to bring the ‘Art of the Deal’ and enjoy how that would feel.”

Then came the glaucoma laser.

* Remember when “You look great!” didn’t mean “for your age.”

* Roofing reality: First thing to do after a new roof goes on: Check for nails. A flat tire shouldn’t be part of the overhead.

* Whatever happened to the subjunctive mood? If I were (not was) still an English teacher, I’d feel like a linguistic alien or the victim of a societal lexicon-job.

* Generational change: Fact-checking will soon be a college major.

* Police chiefs and sheriffs are signing up to be part of a federal immigration program that allows local officers to stop and question people about their immigration status. Call it what it is: a Racial Profiling Program.

* January ended with 172,000 homes for sale. That’s the highest number of any month in records dating back to 2012. It’s up nearly 23% from a year earlier.

* Medicaid, now a Washington spending-cut target, is the primary payer for nursing home care.

* A Republican State Senator recently made the case for truly conservative Republicans to not go against a limited-government credo. Don’t pay for campaigning against amendments, urged Sen. Jennifer Bradley. She proposed a ban on using state funds to advocate for or against constitutional amendments, including those dealing with abortion and recreational marijuana. It also helps some otherwise spineless Republicans that Gov. DisAstrous is now a lame *uck.

“This amendment makes sure that taxpayers don’t get the bill for political issue campaigns,” explained Bradley. Hell, Rick Scott should even agree not to leave taxpayers “on the hook.”

* Among those who recommended against the use of fluoride in drinking water: Sturgeon General Joseph Ladope-o. The key reason: It harms children’s IQ’s. Among those not in agreement: Dental and real health experts.

* Publix will not allow illustrations of any flag other than that of the U.S. on cakes. Desert this ideology, please.

* Arnie Bellini donated $40 million to USF to establish the Bellini College of AI, Cybersecurity and Computing. This should be another difference-maker for the ever-evolving USF. The ultimate goal is for USF to be to Tampa what Stanford is to Silicon Valley. Go, Bulls.

* “Absent a ballpark, having a blank canvas there is not necessarily a bad thing.”–Jason Mathis, CEO of the St. Petersburg Downtown Partnership.

* The sign(age) of the times—Honeymoon State Park (Dunedin): “Fight For Nature,” “Protect Our Parks,” “Pickle The Planners.”

* A presidential address shouldn’t seem like open-mic night in front of Congress.

* The MUSKrat has called on the U.S. to leave NATO. It’s only been around for 76 years, and its value is grossly overrated in a world at peace. BTW, the DOGE Bag also indicated that exiting the United Nations is a pretty good idea too.

* The “Voice of America” is being shut down. It was no longer relevant for an arrogant, self-serving, America First Administration that relies on presidential cacophony to represent the U.S.

* “It’s doing us no good.” Trump on his executive order to dismantle the Dept. of Education.

* Maybe it will eventually occur to Marco Rubio that he does, indeed, work for the man he once candidly and accurately labeled a “con man.” Maybe not.

* “If the DOW drops 1,000 points in two days, the president should be impeached immediately.”–That was Trump in 2012.

* “If I don’t win, you will have a 1929-style depression. Enjoy it.” Trump in his 2024 campaign.

* In such chaotic times as these, it would really help to have a “stable genius” in charge.

* A Trump Library: Isn’t that an oxymoron?

* That prominent “Black Lives Matter” street mural near the White House is gone. It’s a reminder of what happens with President Trump, a GOPster-controlled Congress and DC’s limited autonomy. Maybe a “MAGA Minions Matter” is up next.

* Trump now owns a RED, no surprise, Model S Tesla. More high-profile marketing for the MUSKrat Rambler.

*According to the National Literacy Institute, America ranks 36^th in the world for literacy levels; 21% of Americans are illiterate; 54% of Americans can’t read beyond the level of an 11-year-old; and white, US-born adults are the largest group with low literacy. It impacts, to say the least, our electorate.

* “Only sick and twisted people keep bodies, and you are sick and twisted.”–Trump, in reference to Hamas. Yeah, sometimes he’s actually right.

* A Cannes-and Oscar-winning movie for best picture and best actress. Plus, free, reward-program tickets. What could go wrong? Everything, if that move is the annoying “Anora.”

Even if you were a long-time patron of the Tanga Lounge, dated your share of “escorts,” and preferred excessive violence, loud noise and dialogue steeped in F-and MF-bombs, you wouldn’t necessarily like it. It’s not a modern “Cinderella” story, but a sick sin-derella exploitation and embarrassment to the Academy Awards.

We had heard the ending was kind of redemptive. We don’t know; we left before that.

If you’re thinking about checking out this Oscar mired in cheap sex and loud lewdness, think about re-watching “The Great Gatsby” or “Pretty Woman.” They incorporated sex, romance and partying in a way that didn’t insult or embarrass anyone. They didn’t even need “intimacy coordinators.”

* Mike Myers is back on SNL. He does a spot-on of Elon Musk.

* Remember global leadership? It’s part of who we, as America, are when you are the world’s foremost democracy and bigger militarily and economically than everybody else. Global leadership shouldn’t mean self-serving, counterproductive arrogance.

* “Trying and failing will yield less regret than failing to try.”–Lightning GM Julien BriseBoise, on why it’s worth gambling at the trade deadline.

* Oakland, Pittsburgh, Tampa Bay: The only MLB teams never to finish with a $100 million payroll. Last year the New York Mets had a payroll of $333 million. That’s what happens without a salary cap that the other major pro sports have. In effect, baseball teams play by different rules.

* Local groups have expressed serious interest in buying the Rays. But relocation is still in the mix: and not just relocating to Tampa, the market hub, where it has always belonged, but Orlando, the largest media market in the U.S. without an MLB team. It also seems more receptive to public spending than Tampa-Hillsborough. BTW, among those major development players still silent on any baseball scenarios for Tampa: Jeff Vinik.

* “The most radical revolutionary will become a conservative the day after the revolution.”–Political scientist and philosopher Hannah Arendt.

* “Vote for the man who promises least; he’ll be the least disappointing.”–Former presidential adviser and financier Bernard Baruch.

* “Trump is using the classic elected authoritarian playbook.”–Dartmouth political scientist Brendan Nyhan.

* “Those who long for peace must prepare for war.”–Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth.

* “It doesn’t make sense for America to pay for the defense of Europe.”–Elon Musk.

* “The Americans want our resources, our water, our land, our country.”–Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney.

* “If the U.S. can do this to us, their closest friend, then nobody is safe.”–Canadian Foreign Affairs Minister Melanie Joly.

* “Loyalty isn’t a strong enough word for (Pam) Bondi’s fidelity to Trump. She is blindly obedient.”–Anthony Coley, former adviser to (Biden Administration) AG Merrick Garland.

* “If we get AI right, it will unlock unprecedented innovation, efficiency and economic growth. It will drive the next wave of high-tech jobs.”–ConnectWise founder Arnie Bellini, who recently donated $40 million to USF to create the Bellini College of Artificial Intelligence, Cybersecurity and Computing.

* “I have no interest in working with this (Rays) ownership group. That bridge has been burned.”–St. Petersburg Mayor Ken Welch.

* “Emotions are so raw right now; I think we could all use a timeout.”–St. Petersburg Chamber of Commerce CEO Chris Steinocher.