Category: Tampa Bay

The city and the Tampa Police Department deserve credit — if not the benefit of the doubt — on those announced changes in the Gasparilla parade. More police, fewer waterside bleachers and an extended parade route that now includes Ashley Drive should help. As could more Port-O-Lets, if those in need, indeed, deign to use them.

But if Tampa’s signature drunkfest is going to morph back into something that is more about celebration than intoxication, these well-intentioned changes are almost assuredly not enough.

The key issue remains unaddressed. It’s blatantly fundamental: A parade that can attract 350,000-500,000 shouldn’t have most of its route adjacent to a residential neighborhood. It just shouldn’t. No matter how scenic, and otherwise ideal, Bayshore Boulevard is. New York and Philly and Chicago and Pasadena and Rio have huge parades too, but they don’t invade anybody’s neighborhood. And as a result, they don’t force ground zero residents to go into lock-down mode and shell out for pricey private security – in effect, a form of legal extortion.

As long as the parade stays on Bayshore, the behavior bar will necessarily be set low. Merely making Gasparilla less anarchic will be the goal.

But here’s some advice from one who has a ground zero perspective.

*Make sure those extra police are in the alleys. That’s where the trespissing and public sex are most prevalent. And those arrested for “quality-of-life” violations must be prosecuted. No matter who they are – or who their parents might be.

*And don’t just involve schools in alcohol-awareness partnership. Parents need to be on board. There are too many besotted teen revelers for whom the parade is incidental. For whom a “safe house” is not safe enough if they’ve already lapsed into an alcohol-induced coma.

Too many parents are part of the problem. Where do drunken teens go at the end of the Gasparilla Pirate Fest? Who do they go home to? Who do they answer to? Parents need to revoke these annual societal-norms-don’t-apply, free passes for Gasparilla – in somebody’s else’s neighborhood.

Dick Greco for mayor.

For a number of those not excited by a Rose Ferlita vs. the field scenario in 2011, the prospect of Dick Greco making another brass-ring run is manna from the hustings gods. Call it hizzoner alchemy: nostalgia turns into political viability for the popular, undefeated, former four-term mayor.  

But let’s get realistic.

Greco served from 1967-74 and 1995-2003. Back when he and the economy were more robust. When delegating to wonkish loyalists worked well in simpler times.

That was then. This is not. He has never been 77 before, which he would be by the March 2011 election. Municipal management has never been this hamstrung before. Even for a charismatic deal-maker and civic salesman nonpareil.

It’s been said that Dick Greco, whose schmooze-control style was legendary, enjoyed being mayor more than doing the job of mayor. I think that’s unfair. I think he relished both.

But I do think he enjoys the speculation about being mayor more than he would enjoy the 2011 version of City Hall chief executive. That’s a good enough reason to keep encouraging those who need another Greco fix – as well as a good enough reason to ultimately beg off. 

Sure, Tampa has taken its lumps over the last decade or so when its downtown — and use of the waterfront — were compared to St. Petersburg’s. Tampa was trying to make up for lost time and squandered opportunity, while St. Pete, once mired in a Bay Plaza identity crisis, was sailing along on a honeymoon of residential, arts and nightlife revitalization.

 

The recession has taken its toll both places, of course, but Tampa’s Riverwalk is happening, while the BayWalk fiasco is a reminder that St. Pete is one prominent fallen domino away from a downtown relapse. Moreover, its civic and political fabric remains hostage to racial whim and counterproductive agendas.

 

I don’t have a vote in the upcoming St. Petersburg mayoral run-off election, but if I did, it would matter much more to me that Bill Foster was a real creationist than Kathleen Ford was a faux racist.

 

How outrageous, for example, that Ford’s “HNIC” reference has prompted outrage over her “racial slur.” And some actually thought we might be morphing into a post-racial America?

 

To recap, Ford was being interviewed by radio talk show host Bubba the Love Sponge Clem. The shock-jock lobbed some criticism at St. Pete’s black Deputy Mayor, Goliath Davis. Clem called him a “quasi leader” of African-Americans. Ford then referenced noted African-American author and professor, Cornel West, who has referred to a self-appointed voice of the black community as a “HNIC” – or “Head Negro In Charge.” It buttressed the point that Ford is no fan of one spokesman for groupthink. 

 

Cue the usual suspects, black and white, racial rants always at the ready. Ford was denounced for, among other indignities, using racial affronts to “downgrade” African-Americans.

 

As if Ford were responsible for all the liberties, most prominently by rappers, that have been taken with the “N” of “HNIC.”  As if Ford were responsible for all the over-reactive misinterpretations made by those with trip-wire, racial agendas.

 

As if Ford were wrong.

 

The message to St. Pete officials and all those progressives who have worked so hard to create that enviable downtown should be: Wake up.

 

The message to eclectic “activists” and racial hucksters, including Uhurus, should be: Grow up.

 

The message to Tampa leaders should be: Follow up. St. Pete, geographically blessed and culturally gifted, is now Exhibit A on how not to do it – from economic catalyst (BayWalk) subplots to race-baiting politics.

As for Tampa’s Mayor’s race? Ferlita vs. the field never looked so high-minded.

Sometimes folksy, penurious City Councilman Charlie Miranda’s manner seems as much shtick as substance. But somebody has to make it their business to micromanage other people’s money. Might as well be the miserly one with the most institutional knowledge and track record for asking no-nonsense questions.

 

Too bad, however, that not enough Tampa Bay Water board members listened to him recently. The issue was the regional utility’s 5-4 vote to ante up nearly $1 million for a consultant to help select somebody to fix that infamous, cracked reservoir in southern Hillsborough County.

 

That would be the C.W. Bill Young Regional Reservoir, which is the prime source of the area’s drinking water. Yes, it’s really important. But, no, there was ample reason to look in-house for expertise – and local accountability.

 

“I just don’t know that we need that,” Miranda said of the $908,500 contract with KPMG. “We have six government bodies represented on the board; don’t any of them have some expertise on this?”

As somebody who used to walk down to the previous movie theater incarnations (AMC, Madstone and Sunrise) in Hyde Park Village, I was delighted to hear last December that another movie house would be setting up shop in the vacated Swann Avenue space. I was immediately reminded that it had been much too long since that “Munich” matinee followed by post-mortem cappuccinos at Indigo.

 

The new movie house would be one of Cobb Theatres’ CineBistro concepts. The six-screener would open this fall. A walkable option to NetFlix.

 

And as somebody who cares about the viability of Hyde Park Village, I was happy for the merchants who can use the influx of more potential shoppers, especially during a recession. These tenants can use some energizing news, especially with the holidays approaching. Movie theaters can be catalysts for communities – residential and business.

 

Moreover, I believe in supporting your own. Restaurants, boutiques, movies.

 

And now, as of last week, CineBistro is open.  

 

Having said all that, I do have this misgiving. Maybe it’s misplaced. Perhaps it’s just terminal old-schoolism encroaching again. Like iPod zombies not responding to “Hey, watch out” admonitions at intersections.

 

I like the big-screen, movie-escape experience. So much so, that I don’t suffer distractions well. It’s beyond cell phonies. So much so, I’m wary of a concept that offers restaurant service and (for those over 21) a menu that includes wine, draft beer and cocktails. Patrons, however, are served before the movie begins. But, no, catheters are not provided for the weak-bladdered. I’m leery, maybe unnecessarily, about unnecessary diversions. I’m there for the movie; I can eat at the Wine Exchange or Restaurant BT.

 

But I really hope this concept, which is no longer novel, succeeds. It certainly has in other places. CineBistro will feature new releases as well as art and indie films — and surround sound…and even accommodations for 3-D. And, imagine, a glass of wine, some sushi and a movie sans teens…and lobby ambience that doesn’t include a gauntlet of video games. Muvico at BayWalk should have it so grown up.

 

There are good, aforementioned reasons why there are proven markets for this trendy concept. Chances are it’s even made its share of old-school converts. I look forward to the opportunity – and challenge. But I’ll go with a burger over the sushi – and hold the caveats.

 

And then I’ll let you know how it turned out.

Once again we are reminded that this is not yet post-racial America.

 

St. Petersburg Mayoral candidate Kathleen Ford may be off-putting and even churlish at times. But racist? Hardly.

 

Here’s what just passed for a highly-publicized “racial slur” controversy last week in St. Pete. Ford was responding to radio talk show host Bubba the Love Sponge Clem, who had just criticized Deputy Mayor Goliath Davis, who is black. Clem labeled Davis a “quasi-leader” of the African-Americans. Ford responded with a reference to African-American Professor Cornel West’s “HNIC” theory. That stands for “Head Negro In Charge,” and it refers to certain black leaders posing as THE self-anointed voices of the black community.

 

Ford underscored that she doesn’t disagree with West. She also doesn’t think much of “one-spokesman-for-a-group” dynamics.

 

And then the shinola hit the fan. And that’s because not everyone referencing HNIC says “Negro.” And not Nubian either. But THE “N” word. The one rap songs venerate.

 

Criticize Ford for going on Bubba the Love Sponge’s shock-jock show, but not for racism. And, frankly, give her ironic credit for knowing enough of what Cornel West has addressed to be able to apply it to St. Petersburg.

 

And one final incongruity. State Rep. Darryl Rouson, D-St. Petersburg, told the St. Petersburg Times that he believes Ford “regrets any misinterpretation of the meaning.”

 

To be sure. But shouldn’t the misinterpreters regret it even more?

Downtown Tampa will shortly have – to loosely paraphrase Gertrude Stein – some definite “‘there’ there.” We’re talking the revitalized Riverwalk, which will soon include two museums, a major Curtis Hixon Park makeover and a Kiley Gardens remake.

 

But in the good names of urban renewal, arts canton and downtown destination, some city officials are threatening to get carried away. Understandably, they want to make sure that such a showplace is properly reflective of Tampa at its best. Of course. But in so doing, they want to sanitize some of the seawall by limiting and eliminating much of the colorful signage left behind by northern university crews that train here in the winter.

 

“The question is: How do you want your city to be presented to the public?” asked Lee Hoffman, the Riverwalk development manager. “Do you want to continue to have ‘crew art,’ or whatever you want to call it, to proliferate, or do you want to try to restrict that in some way?”

 

Actually, the question should be: How best to present the real Tampa, one that is both vibrant and aesthetically impressive as well as unique? This isn’t Jacksonville or San Antonio. That uncommissioned “crew art” that has been left in the wake of college rowing crews over the years is vintage Tampa. It’s not unflattering graffiti. Nor is it an incongruous mismatch with the waterfront’s gentrification. It is, as Tampa Downtown Partnership President Christine Burdick points out, part of Tampa’s heritage.

 

“It’s something that is somewhat symbolic in downtown,” says Burdick. “And to some extent, it should remain a part of downtown.”

 

But the issue is more than a matter of lose it or leave it alone. It’s more like market it.

 

What we’re talking about is a literal, historical signature: a graphic reminder of where Ivy League and Big Ten student-scullers have long wanted to be in the winter. And not only were the collegiate Kilroys here, but the boys and girls of Yale, Princeton and Michigan keep coming back.

 

Philadelphia and Boston, for example, don’t have a problem with student signatures along their boathouse rows. Tampa needs to market it – not question it.

 

To loosely paraphrase Thomas Wolfe, in Tampa, you can row home again.

This much is obvious in the aftermath of the Kevin White lawsuit. During the worst of recessionary times, Hillsborough County is out as much as $500,000. But County Commission efforts to go after White, although understandable, viscerally satisfying and politically popular, are not likely to help. More show than dough. Throwing good money after bad, no matter the context, is never a good investment.

 

At the very least, district voters can throw an arrogant, sleazy politician from office. After that, the best they likely can hope for is that the shallow-pocketed White, in a burst of constituent conscience, puts his Italian suits on consignment.

Alas, enlightenment was nowhere to be found in that recent BayWalk decision by the St. Petersburg city council. It did not pass an ordinance that would have cleared a chunk of public sidewalk at the entrance of BayWalk, an area frequented by animated activists and loitering punks. The motley scene had become a major deterrent to patrons of BayWalk, the erstwhile downtown-revival catalyst now morphing into a plywood ghost town.

 

No, the ceding of the sidewalk to BayWalk owners would not have been a panacea, not during a recession, but it would help. It would help those investing in BayWalk and those employed at BayWalk. It would address the viability of downtown and help safeguard $20-million in taxpayer funds.

 

And no, such a vacation would not have been a free-speech sacrilege. The option for demonstrators and thug wannabes was to relocate to the other side of the street – hardly a Constitutional affront.

 

Enlightened self-interest? How about some common sense?

It’s now official. The next Gasparilla Parade of the Pirates will start at Bay to Bay Boulevard and proceed down Bayshore Boulevard, across the Platt Street Bridge and then head west along Ashley Drive and end at Cass Street. The downtown extension is new.

 

That’s an improvement, but likely no acceptable solution for those in South Tampa who will still see their neighborhoods invaded. Parade routes – and overburdened police and crowds in the hundreds of thousands – will never mix well with residential areas. Tampa is still unique in such parade shoehorning.

 

Among those who still don’t understand that concept: the congenitally disingenuous Darrell Stefany, whose only vested interest is being president of EventFest, which only organizes the event.

 

“Property owners like that the parade is coming down their street,” gushed Stefany. “It’s a neat thing because it’s a beautiful area.”

 

Hey, Darrell, try asking residents who practically shrink-wrap their property or feel extorted into hiring private security because the Ye Mystic Krude parade route is so neat.