Category: Florida

Worth pondering:

*Scientists are finding that an adolescent’s brain undergoes a previously unsuspected biological makeover – a massive growth of synaptic connections between brain cells. This surge kick starts a major renovation of the brain that doesn’t conclude until the mid-20s, when the brain, in effect, catches up to the fully matured body.

*An immature brain – trying mightily to cope with emotions, urges, poor judgment and risk taking – is a key factor in making motor-vehicle accidents the number one cause of death among adolescents and young adults.

*Researchers from the Virginia Tech Transportation Institute determined that eight out of 10 U.S. accidents are caused by distracted drivers . Specifically, cell phones accounted for the most distractions.

*Florida is only now considering a law that would prohibit those with learners’ permits – let alone all teens — from talking on cell phones while driving.

More than a week later, it still resonates – as cool as it is incongruous: Florida Gators, National Champions. In BASKETBALL.

Some perspective.

University of Florida head coach Billy Donovan didn’t sell his soul for this team, as good as it is. Athletics Director Jeremy Foley didn’t have to budget bail money for any of Donovan’s players. And Donovan didn’t have to scour the ranks of junior colleges looking for “student-athlete” itinerants. In 10 years, Donovan has brought the program to the level where he can choose attitude as well as recruit aptitude. Both were more than manifest at the Final Four.

The Gators also play a style that would be appreciated by James Naismith. This is no shuck-and-jive outfit, but a well-schooled squad that understands the art of the pass and the concept of the team. Call it the enlightened self-interest of unselfishness.

But the ultimate sports success begets a certain inevitability. There’s precious little time these days to actually savor the celebratory moment. After being feted by fans and the President of the United States, the Gators are now confronted with what they do for an encore.

Obvious questions are begged.

With no senior starters, how good can this team get? With all the variables of luck and parity, can it repeat?

Or will it dismantle itself? The professional ranks are beckoning to three Gator starters, Joakim Noah, Al Horford and Corey Brewer, all of whom are sophomores. None of whom are impoverished, notably Noah.

An ongoing storyline this season has been Noah, Horford and Brewer — plus sophomore starting point guard Taurean Green — sharing the same apartment as well as outlooks on life. They valued the campus experience. Chemistry on and off the court was their mantra.

That will now be tested, especially with Noah, who seems to be morphing from “colorful”, “exuberant” and “charismatic” into look-at-me boorishness.

The Gators have already made hoops history. Wouldn’t it be refreshing if they also made a statement?

As in a triplicate reply that the hip-hop lounge act known as the National Basketball Association would just have to wait. That there really was allure to a college diploma and remaining in Gainesville as national champions with the formidable challenge of repeating. And, most importantly, that it was too tempting to resist the opportunity to send a message to every budding athlete with professional dreams that a university was much more than a thinly veiled apprenticeship for the pros.

The ball is in their court.

For too many years the small, demographically skewed states of Iowa and New Hampshire — which hold the nation’s first presidential caucus and primary, respectively — have played disproportionate national roles. Worse yet, Florida, a microcosmic, delegate-rich state with a key role in electing presidents, is reduced to bystander status when it comes to nominating them.

By the time Floridians cast primary ballots, more than half the states and the District of Columbia have already done so. Florida’s primary is all rubber-stamp ceremony and no substance.

The good news, however, is that incoming speaker of the Florida House of Representatives Marco Rubio will be pushing for a bill that will move up Florida’s 2008 primary date – to the week after New Hampshire’s. Florida, the nation’s fourth largest state, is currently six weeks after New Hampshire’s February primary.

Even better news is that the prospects are propitious. It’s something – more clout for Florida — that both Democrats and Republicans can readily agree on.

You go, Rubio.

Talk about hitting the ground running.

A federal judge finally approved an agreement allowing those 14 Cubans who had landed on an abandoned bridge in the Florida Keys to come to the United States. It was the right – and humane – decision, although unconscionably late. The bridge had initially — and inexplicably — been deemed an inappropriate application of the controversial, cruelly arbitrary “wet foot, dry foot” policy. Common sense, however, finally prevailed. An abandoned bridge was a reach too far. It was still “dry” U.S. territory.

Only hurdle remaining for the Cubans, who have become pariahs on their native island: Fidel Castro has to sign off on the deal

Appearances to the contrary, Katherine Harris doesn’t have an exclusive on controversy this Florida campaign season. Among others, there’s Tom Gallagher – he of questionable stock-trading ethics. Politicians, we are reminded, are always hostage to their pasts – especially when it comes to fund-raising and the mixing of business with public duties. Happens. Always will. The parties and the public will weigh and judge.

What was more surprising, however, was the self-inflicted heat now being taken by Democratic gubernatorial candidate Jim Davis. Ethics will always be fair game, but it’s not an issue that resonates viscerally with most voters. But missing a Patriot Act vote – amid the ongoing war on terrorism — was an unconscionable political blunder. A gift-wrapped gaffe that will stalk Davis should he make it to the general election.

No matter how he spins it in an October debate, opting out of a closer-than-expected Patriot Act vote to play to the cameras after Gov. Jeb Bush’s State of the State speech will cost Davis. No Democrat, ironically even one who is supportive of the Patriot Act, can be seen as anything less than tough on national security. And highly symbolic votes always help. Conversely, choosing raw political expedience can only haunt.

What Davis and other sound-bitten candidates said after the governor’s speech has been old news now for a fortnight. Missing that vote, however, will peak in newsworthiness this fall.

The announcement that Katherine Harris should have made:

“My fellow Floridians:

“I’ll come right to the point. I am no longer a candidate for the United States Senate. But what I will continue to be is a United States Representative proud to serve my Congressional constituents – and honored to be in a position to do what’s right for the United States of America. And that means standing up for our security, our values, our environment and our economic well being.

“So much has been said about my campaign and my candidacy that it’s time – in fact, past time – to set some records straight.

“Of course, I was disappointed in our fund-raising — and in our political system that is a key barometer of support. And this, as you all know, was reflected in poll numbers. The reasons were obvious.

“First, it is said that I’m a “polarizing figure.” Of course I am. It can happen when you do your job and follow your conscience and call it as you see it. And what’s more, that’s not about to change.

“And second, this campaign has been buffeted by other controversies, which have made it challenging to get a positive message out. And I am, of course, answerable for that. I’m the candidate and anything that happens with fund-raising – or any other facet of the campaign – is ultimately my responsibility.

“And speaking of fund-raising, the whole MZM affair was badly mishandled. In hindsight, there was no oversight. Once again, that’s on me. But at no time was I engaged in some underhanded quid-pro-quo. If I really needed money that badly, I’d write a check. But if that project had come to Sarasota, it would have meant jobs – something I’m not about to apologize for.

“One final item. I need to do the right thing here. I think my desire to serve you in the Senate – as well as my ego – kept me in this race too long. It has hurt the party and hampered our cause. I wanted to take on the issues – but to too many I had become the overriding issue. That benefits no one.

“So, in addition to stepping down, I want to step up with an infusion of funds in support of whoever takes the baton, inherits this deficit and fights the good fight. I’m blessed with financial wherewithal, and I’m honored to commit the sum of $10 million to help even the playing field for my successor.

“Thank you and God bless the United States of America.”

Statistics compiled by the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office over a 12-year period show a shockingly high recidivism rate for youths sent to that county’s boot camp. Out of 740 boot campers, only 74 were NOT arrested again. That’s a recidivism rate of 90 per cent.

What’s become increasingly obvious about such centers around Florida is that their detractors have much more ammunition than the controversial death of a 14-year-old in a Bay County boot camp. They can say they don’t work. They’re not camps; they’re incubators.

And the rest of us can finally acknowledge what it was about boot camps that appealed to us in the first place. It was the name – and what it connoted. As in, show these punks some discipline before it’s too late. As in, an alternative to an ineffectual, revolving-door juvenile justice system.

As in, now what?

Now that the U.S. Treasury Department’s Office of Foreign Assets Control has relented and issued a special license, Cuba will be allowed to play in the 16-team World Baseball Classic. For its part, Cuba said it will donate any profits to Hurricane Katrina victims. End of issue.

Not, however, if you’re Cuban-American Florida Sen. Mel Martinez. He now has taken up the cause of Cuba’s team not being “wholly representative of Cuba” because none of that country’s defectors will be permitted to play.

“If this is about baseball and not politics as Major League Baseball has suggested, then take the politics out of it and let Cuban-born players compete for Cuba,” said Martinez.

Presumably with a straight face.

Florida’s ongoing challenge to attract black students to its universities – especially from out of state – is being pragmatically addressed by Gov. Jeb Bush. The governor has recommended spending more than $50 million in the 2006-07 budget for more need-based aid and the creation of a first-generation scholarship program. Minorities are disproportionately represented in such criteria.

Critics and cynics, however, have found the recommendations an opportunity to retrospectively bash Bush for his One Florida plan that eliminated affirmative action in higher education. In so doing, they note, he created a situation that would inevitably lead to a diversity default. They also cite statistics such as Florida ranking first (of the 10 most populous states) in grants that are unrelated to financial need.

But let’s not jettison all context here. Grants based on merit – quaint concept that it is – deserve a better spin than that.

It’s not your parents’ Key West anymore. To anyone whose frame of reference goes back several decades, the changes in Key West are as notable as they are noticeable.

The venerable Strand Theatre is now a Walgreen’s.

Real estate appreciation is through modest, Conch House roofs. Condo conversions are an issue. The Naval Station’s Tank Island is now the chi chi Sunset Key. Marriott, Hilton and Hyatt are in residence.

Even the Turtle Kraals by the historic seaport look gentrified. Monaco has nothing on the Conch Harbor Marina. Among the anchored yachts: Don Wallace’s splendent “Boo.” Even the dinghy, “Boo II,” more than hints at the good maritime life.

Not far from Hemmingway’s haunt, Sloppy Joe’s, is the less literate Hard Rock Café. Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville makes you think parrotphernalia and chain. Has it really been 33 years since “A White Sport Coat and a Pink Crustacean”?

Duval Street takes you to Mallory Square street theater and sunsets — as well as the Gay & Lesbian Visitor Info Center.

Cruise-liner lemmings descend on Old Town as if it were Cancun. There’s still a FEMA presence.

Where’s the Cookie Lady? The kilted bagpiper?

That said, however, Key West still delivers. It’s still the “Conch Republic,” as the airport’s emblematic signage proudly informs all arrivals.

It’s still truly tropical, even to South Floridians. It still has galleries galore, a literati legacy, a Victorian skyline, hoary banyan trees and narrow, quirky streets and cul-de-sac alleys. It’s a pivot point to the Dry Tortugas. And there are myriad reminders – starting with a confiscated Cubana Airlines plane at the airport — that Cuba is barely 90 miles – and a geopolitical gulf – to the south.

But most important, it’s still a state of mind in an exotic, soft-core bacchanalian setting. It’s still a retreat from the mundane.

“I’ve used up all of my sick days, so I’m calling in dead.”

Relative to where you’re from – WHEREVER that is – it remains laid back. There’s still that sense of being on the lam from routine.

“Why can’t we all just get a bong?”

And from drag shows to naughty humor emblazoned on everything from T-shirts to underwear — it’s still spring break for Middle America.

“I got duval-faced on Shit Street.”

Fast Buck Freddie’s

Perhaps no place embodies the eclectic ambience and what-the-hell spirit more than Duval icon, Fast Buck Freddie’s, housed in the erstwhile Kress Five and Dime building. Although its neighbors now include Starbucks, Chicos and Banana Republic, it remains a Conch constant.

“The house was clean yesterday. Sorry you missed it.”

Now in its 30th year, FBF is known for its home accessories, casual wear and popular window displays. But whether customers are looking through the Tommy Bahama collection or perusing restoration fabrics, carpets and window coverings, this much is certain.

“I’m out of estrogen, and I have a gun.”

Those shoppers – from tittering teens to staid seniors — will also visit the popular forum for crudeness and irreverence that is the “Tropical Trash” section of FBF.

“Grandchildren are the rewards for letting teenagers live.”

It’s a potpourri of poor taste ranging from variations on flatulence and belching themes to Red Neck dolls that parody incest to spicy “Vice Crispies” and “Porn Flakes” cereal boxes. There’s a “Jesus Saves” coin bank, a pop-up “Bog Monster” that’s concealed in a toilet bowl and (record your own message) “Talking Toilet Paper.” As in: “Susan will you marry me? Flush once for yes!”

Everything from pillows (“Next mood swing: 3 minutes”) to magnets (“No matter how good he looks, some other woman was sick & tired of putting up with his crap”) is fair game. Some, such as the “Get Off The Phone” Excuse Machine, seem down right practical. Others, like “Mullet Shampoo” with the “muscle-car scent,” might be.

And, well, much more.

“Jesus Loves you, but the rest of us think you’re an asshole.”

Local connection

“This is a place where customers can just be themselves,” explained FBF’s John Muhly, who has been general manager for 28 years.

“People don’t go out of their way to come here and not have a good time,” he says. “This is a place where customers can just be themselves. Don’t let the ‘prim and proper’ ones fool you. They’re more open-minded than you think. And we provide a tongue-in-cheek atmosphere where they can enjoy themselves.

“We have beautiful stuff all around the store, but right here it’s just nothing that anybody has to have,” noted Muhly. “All it does is make you laugh.

“I don’t know how many people can say it,” he underscored, “but I actually enjoy coming to work each day.”

It certainly wasn’t that way in a previous retail incarnation. The University of South Florida grad worked for the upscale clothier John Baldwin in downtown St. Petersburg in the 1970s. He said he got tired of catering to the wealthy and self-important.

“If they had a problem finding a parking spot, they would take it out on you,” he recalled. “Especially (wife of very prominent Tampa resident). She was the worst. We don’t get people like that here.

“So much around here has changed, but we’re still an oasis of bad taste,” Muhly deadpanned.

Oh yeah, I did score a note pad.

“Ladies and gentlemen: Welcome to North Carolina. Please return your hair to its full, upright position.”