Victoria’s Secret: Redress For Success

Now that its dirty little secret is out, it’s obvious that Victoria’s Secret needs an erroneous-zone fix.

It became public when a customer saw what was done with a pair of recently purchased, still unworn, hotsy sweatpants she had just returned to the Westshore Plaza store. The clerk gave her a refund — and then gave her an unexpected peek into VS return policy when she began cutting the pants in half.  The rationale: Wouldn’t want those cute “Pink” sweats, however nigh on to new, to somehow find their way to resellers and outrageously unfashionable second-hand stores.

Only if your clients were Tiger Woods or Charlie Sheen would you think there was no need to address this manifestly obvious public-relations disaster. Only if your market strategy was limited to seducing the obscenely amoral and profligate. Only if you had outsourced your corporate conscience during the Great Recession.

Corporate heads should roll on this one. Survivors should be made to sport knock-off hair shirts for conduct unbecoming normal, decent people.  

If I’m The Spring or Metropolitan Ministries or the Jim Norman-less Salvation Army, I’m already on the case. If VS doesn’t get it — as well as some fellow retail cut-ups such as Macy’s and H&M — then bludgeon them with some (seemingly) socially-responsible marketing advice. To wit: “Pretend you’re doing the right thing for the right reason. Let the public think that you really do think those down on their luck may deserve to spruce up a bit too.”

In short, “Work with us. You, of all retailers, understand image — and the self-serving concept of something for everybody. We’ll call it: ‘The Returns That Keep On Giving.'”