* After a second incident (within six weeks) of inexplicably bad time-management- and dispatch problems impacting public safety and rush-hour traffic in Pasco County, CSX Transportation–stop the presses–issued an apology. “CSX will make every attempt to keep trains running through Dade City except under emergency circumstances,” promised Kristin Seay, a CSX spokeswoman.
“We are making operational adjustments and want to retain our good will in all communities that we impact,” added Seay. “We pride ourselves on being more than a railroad. We’re also a good neighbor. Just ask the residents of downtown Tampa or TECO Streetcar officials.”
* Circuit Judge Terry Lewis has upheld the revision to the state’s congressional map approved earlier this month by the Florida Legislature. Its implementation, however, will necessarily be delayed by electoral logistics.
“An election in 2015 is not a viable option,” wrote Lewis in his four-page order. “The 2014 elections will have to be held under the map as enacted in 2012. But let’s keep everything in its proper constitutional context. We do have a remedial plan that meets minimum requirements by rearranging some deck chairs. Corrine Brown will still have a salamander. It will be business as usual in 2016.”
* It’s now official. Florida Polytechnic University in Lakeland is open–and they have 550 students and that futuristic Innovation, Science and Technology Building to prove it. Those new students were greeted by Steve Warner, director of student affairs, during the welcoming session.
“You have a once-in-a-life opportunity,” Warner told them. “You took the risk, you took the chance, you believed in what we are doing, and, for all I know, you would have come here to the Big Slinky even if we didn’t admit everybody for free. And, as our patron saint, JD Alexander, has noted, accreditation is, like, way overrated. Carpe Diem.”