So, if not Donald Trump, if not Ted Cruz and if not John Kasich, who would be next up as a GOPster savior for the general election?
Well, it won’t be Speaker of the House–and 2012 veep candidate–Paul Ryan. We know because he said so in a notably formal press conference. “I do not want, nor will I accept, the nomination of our party,” he declared, sounding like he was channeling Gen. William Sherman, Lyndon B. Johnson and Pat Paulsen.
For further clarification–because this is shaping up as the convention from Republican hell–he added that “If no candidate has the majority on the first ballot, I believe you should only turn to a person who has participated in the primary. Count me out.”
So Mike Huckabee still has a shot. But Ted Nugent doesn’t.
But we all know what Ryan, 46, could have said if he wanted to wax incongruously candid. To wit:
“I’ll cut right to the chase. Here’s the bottom line. You can take it to a bank too big to fail.
“The real reason I won’t be available to run in a brokered convention is that it would be political suicide for me. As a non-candidate, deus ex machina establishment drop-in, I would be the center of chaos and precipitate the walkout and riotous behavior that Trump supporters are gearing up for anyhow.
“This would hand-deliver the election to Hillary Clinton and doom the down ballot in November, and I would personify all of that. I’ll never get another chance–and I want another chance. In 2020, I’ll be four more years removed from Mitt Romney and all those Eddie Munster caricatures. I’ll be the go-to spokesman for the party, even if I’m no longer Speaker. I’m not screwing up my future to be a convention stop-gap in a losing presidential year.
“Of course I’m not running. Period. End of story. See you in Cleveland, where I have a convention to chair, even if I have to borrow it from Clint Eastwood.”