Gasparilla: The Street Party From Hell

            Gasparilla – as in “How bad has it really gotten?” — continues to be in the news. Most recently, there was that high-profile meeting of city officials, police and the parade co-sponsor to hear the concerns of South Tampa residents. It’s their neighborhood that the Gasparilla Pirate Fest – the “adult,” Ye Mystic Krewe version – invades, in effect, each year.

The problem, which was well underscored, is that while Bayshore Boulevard is a gorgeous, linear-park venue, it’s ill-suited to a parade with 350,000 or more spectators. With bleachers and corporate tents pre-empting most of the space on the Hillsborough Bay side, the overwhelming majority of those in attendance are forced to the opposite, residential side.

What has resulted is the street party from hell – featuring thousands of drunks and punks, many of them teenagers, coursing through alleys, side streets and yards. The parade is incidental. The 1,200 police are woefully inadequate and have to be “judicious” – in the words of Police Chief Stephen Hogue – about picking their spots for arrests. They let, necessarily, a lot go without responding. Any arrest takes more than an hour to process.

Some outtakes and observations from the intense, often emotional, gathering:

·                           The devil is in the details – not the euphemisms. Words such as “rowdy”, “boorish” and bawdy are misleading. These homeowners spoke of graphic, ground-zero reality: from public urination, defecation, sex and property break-ins to vomiting, fighting and landscape trashing.

·                           Some homeowners were furious about the costs (fencing and off-duty officers) of property protection – often into four figures. It cost one condominium association $6,000 to fortify its site.

·                           “It’s out of hand. We’ve got to do better.” – Rose Ferlita, Hillsborough County Commissioner and Hyde Park resident.

·                           You know it’s more than your basic vent session when residents drop terms like “inverse eminent domain” and “attractive nuisance.” But down-right alarming was one gun-owning home-owner confirming with police his right to self protection when drunks unlawfully enter his home. And, indeed, some had at this year’s event.

·                           Part of the issue – and it largely goes unspoken unless a brouhaha ensues – is one of class. As in the image of South Tampa “elites.” As in: “Too damn bad. You’re rich enough to live there. Deal with the common folks enjoying themselves.” (This sort of perverted proletarian piffle was all over the TBO.com online reader commentary following the Tampa Tribune’s story about the meeting and resident complaints.)

·                           The corollary: “You shouldn’t have moved to a place with a parade. You knew that. It’s like moving to a golf course community and complaining when a golf ball comes in your yard.”

·                           The reality: No, it’s more like moving to a golf course community, only to have it convert to a Hip-Hop-themed miniature golf course with a gang-bangers’dunk tank next to your kids’ swing set.

·                           “We are not your adversary on this…We don’t condone underage drinking and indecent exposure…We will continue to have this dialogue…The city, (co-sponsor) Event Fest and the (Ye Mystic) Krewe will meet and get back to you. We will meet again 60 days from now for options.” – Santiago Corrada, Tampa’s neighborhood services coordinator.

   I’ll report back.

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