“With all due respect.”
When, quite candidly, was the last time that phrase ever preceded anything remotely respectful? It’s a rhetorical staple on political talk shows – and a predictable presidential press conference preface to a skewering query.
“With all due respect, Mr. President, haven’t you left your successor with a colossal mess – virtually all of it the fault of your Administration?”
“With all due respect, Mr. President-Elect, isn’t the presidency and the crucible that is Oval Office decision-making still a bit presumptuous for someone with no executive experience?”
It’s one of those consummately annoying phrases: in this case faux deference that is as disingenuous as it is trite.
And there are, of course, many other such exasperating expressions that strike discordant notes – ranging from the hackneyed to the redundant to the ungrammatical – in all of us. They come at us from the workplace (“bottom line”), the battlefield (“surgical strike”), politics (“faith-based,” “grass roots,” “Joe Six Pack”) and popular culture (“like, you know, awesome”).
In fact, they are the subject of a list recently compiled by researchers at Oxford University. Here’s Oxford’s top ten most irritating utterances:
1 – At the end of the day
2 – Fairly unique
3 – I personally
4 – At this moment in time
5 – With all due respect
6 – Absolutely
7 – It’s a nightmare
8 – Shouldn’t of
9 – 24/7
10 – It’s not rocket science
And in no particular order, here is the O’Neill Supplementary List. Chances are some of your favorite phrases for phasing out are on it too. Some have political connotations. Some are just pop-culture verbal crutches. Some already give cliché a bad name. Others are disrespectful or just dumb.
*How about a sports-context moratorium on all references to “swagger,” “hero” and “warrior”? Whether by players, coaches or media types.
Surely, the intent is not to speak approvingly of boorish, arrogant attitudes and antics. Nor can there be intent to show disrespect to real “heroes” and “warriors” – especially during a time of war – by ascribing qualities of genuine courage to those who merely play games. Surely.
And don’t forget “blue collar,” stock, racial shorthand in the sports arena. To wit: “He (white athlete) is one of those ‘blue collar’ players. He won’t beat you with his athleticism, but he’s like a coach on the field. He gets the most out of his (melanin-challenged) ability.”
“The Man Upstairs.” Has always seemed a bit too colloquial for The Creator. Worse yet is its frequent athletic context. As in: “I want to thank ‘The Man Upstairs’ for helping us win this game.” Sacrilegiously presumes skewed earthly priorities for The Deity.
* “Walk the walk, talk the talk.” Bring back “talk is cheap” if you must truly traffic in the trite.
* “Star.” Ideally, for celestial references only. Entertainment celebrities are not “stars,” although many do inhabit their own universe.
* “Rock star.” If we must, but beware (‘like a rock star’) simile abuse. Unless, of course, the popularity of a politician is, indeed, that superficial.
* “Sliced bread.” As in: “best thing since…” Once worked as an up-dated successor to “the invention of the wheel.” The “weed-whacker” or “casual Fridays” would be an improvement now.
* “Toast.” It is now metaphorical toast.
* “Awesome.” This deserves stand-alone status. Remember when it referred to wonder (or literal “awe”) inspired by something sublime or maybe majestic. Perhaps a Grand Canyon sunset. No more. Mundane rules. As in: “Hey, you just did two chin-ups. ‘Awesome.’” Or: “Hey, are those sweatpants new? ‘Awesome.’” Or: “You scored tickets for the 50-Cent concert! ‘Awesome.’”
* “Reality TV.” Even though everyone is well aware they are being filmed and there are working scripts, this really is ‘reality.’ Only on TV.
* “Whatever.” Shibboleth for edgy, contemporary non-commitment. As in:
Q: “Son, your mother and I would like you to be on time for Christmas dinner, at least acknowledge your grandparents, refrain from commentary that only references that which ‘sucks,’ defer any more piercings until after the holidays and save that rapper ensemble for non-family occasions.”
A: “Whatever.”
*“Bottom line.” Give it back to the CPA’s. At the end of the day, if not sooner.
* “You Guys.” Informal and non-sexist, it works in most contexts. But not in this one: “Good evening, my name is Paul, I’ll be your server, and welcome to Jean Claude’s, home of romantic, continental, fine dining. So, what can I start ‘you guys’ off with?”
* “Rap artist.” Unless you actually intend it as an oxymoron example.
* “Role model.” Athletes shouldn’t count. Some, in fact, can’t.
* “Ethnocentric.” Relativist, non-judgmental, cultural catch-all from Anthropology 101. Unfortunately, it doesn’t leave wiggle room for that which is absolutely wrong – say, genital mutilation or downright evil acts in the name of religion. Sorry, not all cultures are equal.
* “Profiling.” As in: “I don’t care that it may be a function of common sense, national security and statistical relevance. Racial, ethnic or religious profiling is always wrong…OK, who’s next for a random search? Do you really need that wheel chair?”
* “The will of God.” Mantra of the ultimate, theological insider. Even God, presumably, would find this faith-based phrase a tad presumptuous.
* “Been there, done that.” Still, alas, has some shelf life. Wherever you’ve been, whatever you’ve done. No one cares. Even if you did get the T-shirt.
* “Diss.” Show some respect for the language. It’s not a word – but do keep it as a syllable.
* “Duhhh.” Ditto.
* “HELL-ooo.” Good byyyye to melodramatically whiny, stressed-syllable tampering.
* “PUHH-lease.” See above. Please.
* “No problem.” Only problematic as a response to “thank you.” Proper response is “you’re welcome.” Thank you.
* “Close proximity,” “totally destroyed,” “general consensus.” Bring these evildoers of redundancy to justice.
* “Notoriety.” Related, reasonably enough, to notorious. Not a synonym for “fame” – any more than notorious is a synonym for infamous.
* “Near miss.” That would be a Mrs. Otherwise, it’s a collision.
* “Cancelled.” Call off this spelling, especially at airports, where flights are frequently “canceled.” Sometimes it’s due to pilots still nervous after a near collision.
* “Remains to be seen.” Doesn’t it always?
* “It is what it is.” Indeed.